kilala's POV
as she felt hands dragging her down the alley,she was pushed against the wall,and let out a yelp of pain.as she looked up,she saw the red eyes of her kiddnapper/stalker.she felt dazed after looking into those blood-red eyes,and was in a trance for a while bafore she felt something caressing her neck.
her eyes looked down and noticed fangs of her kiddnaper.as she saw this,she questioned herself,"who is this dude?is he a vampire?".as she kept questioning herself,she felt his fangs going into her neck,and then her blood rusing down.as she felt his fangs go deeper,she started to sob,wondering when the horrendous torture will end.
???'s POV
as he pushed his fangs deeper into the nekeo's skin,he heard sobs coming from his newly bitten victim.as she continued to cry,he felt more bad for what he was doing to her.he wished he could stop,yet couldn't stop because the taste of her blood was like the taste of a impotred champange from france.
when he let his fangs out of the neck of the bitten nekeo,he looked at her.underneth the alley light,she was beautiful in his eyes.as he continued to stare at the girl,he realized that she might faint at any moment.the nekeo girl asked him:"who are you?".he looked in her eyes and said,:my name is itachiuchiha,and i'm a vampire.
this is chapter 4 of my fiction guys.enoy!(kilala:who are you talking to? me:your fans,that's who! kiroro:cool!hi everyone!)
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i loved reading your story, even though it was short: it was amazing and i cant wait for the next one =] *pop*
LUNAR
2008-07-25 22:19:17
must.....read......more! Ausomeness!
MUSICSAVESYOURLIFE
2008-07-23 13:36:36
this is so good i lov it it is completely mysterious
VAMPIREPRINCESSAMI
2008-07-16 15:22:37
Thats good..its got potential however you should try to make it flow more like when he's about it bite her neck instead of thinking who is this dude have her thinking like on the lines of that she desperately needs to get away since its a complete stranger, then deeply describe him biting her neck .....n also wen u say he felt bad for her say abitmore on that like he hates biting ppl but his blood lust gets out of control but obviously more descriptive.....just sum ideas x)
TERGEDTOE
2008-07-16 13:06:26
hey that was really good angel pop out loud
GTAJOEY
2008-07-15 15:46:07