The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally , the
guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always
hear
"the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male
side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials...

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...
Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as basketball or rough sex.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. We are always in shape.  Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.