I wish I could see you again. Touch your soft skin, feel your warm presence, hear your sweet voice, taste your intoxicating candy. But what is dead can not be living, so, how is my heart still beating?

It was only so long ago that you were here beside me, my hand held within yours. You wrapped your arms around my shoulders and whispered in my ear, making me nothing but happy. I would hold onto you, never wanting to lose you, your smile, your laugh. But what comes into this world must surely be brought out.

Life at our age, you always think you’re invincible, incredible, amazing. You think nothing can harm you, touch you, kill you. Every bit of danger is only a myth that doesn’t apply to you…or anyone you love. You can do anything daring and walk away unscathed, and any bruises or broken bones you gain are only trophies to show and brag about, nothing more, nothing less. But as you grow older you slowly learn that that’s not true, all the truth of reality slowly sinks in, giving you time to realize how stupid you once were. But what happens if you never get the chance to realize your stupidity?

Parties, football games, alcohol. Everything high school is about, right? Showing off, being cool, scoring the winning point in a game. This is what your life was about, wasn’t it? You never thought anything could harm you…or me. All the drunken driving, school shootings, over-doses, it happened to everybody else, but not us. It couldn’t, wouldn’t, happen to us, not now, not ever. “It won’t.” You told me.

But it did.

How could we have been so stupid as to not realize the danger, life threatening danger you were in? Drunk, over the edge, crazy. You got into a car and drove off, leaving me behind. Of course I didn’t care, you had done this before, so many times before, that I thought nothing of it. But when I heard you were in the hospital the next morning, everything changed.

When I got there you were laying in a bed, covered in wires and blankets, bandages and bruises, blood and wounds. You drove into a poll, killing a good friend, and killing yourself.

An hour later you left my world, this world. Never again will you return. Never again will I see you, touch you, tastes you, hear you, smell you. We were not invincible, never were, never will be. We were stupid enough to play life, to gamble everything we had, you had, I had.

And we lost.