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Going Elemental Chapter 1 part 1

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VIEWS TODAY: 1

VIEWS TOTAL: 31

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ADDED: 07.08.2007

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Going Elemental Chapter 1 part 1

I blinked and put my head on the kitchen table. "Bored....bored....bored," I said to myself and blew at a crumb left over from lunch.

My name's Tao Izumi. I'm 14 and I go to Sea Front Middle school in Japan. I have two best friends, Inari Hirokane and Max Kojima. They go to the same school as me, too. I have an older sister named Jaylin. She likes to be called J, but I think it's kinda stupid. She goes out with a guy named Jake. I was told he used to live in the States, but he moved here. I've never really met him before, though.

"So," I heard from behind me. "what do you think of my outfit? Is it to plain?" I turned around and looked at my sister. She was wearing a sort of halter top and a mini skirt. She had on tons of makeup on and she had her hair tied back. Honestly, I found it a bit disturbing, but hey, I'm her little brother. What does she expect? For me to say it's nice? "Well?" she asked again. I glared at her. "What do you want me to say? You look nice?" She frowned. "Well...Sort of," she said and looked down. I rolled my eyes. "You....look..." I winced. Complimenting my sister isn't something I'm used to. "You....look...ugh...nice," I spat. She smiled, came over to where I was, and tapped the top of my head. I looked up and she planted a kiss on my forehead. "Eeeagh! Gross! Girl germs!" I yelled at wiped off the lipstick. She laughed and left the kitchen.

 

((More to come soon! ^^))


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Creator Comments

=3 The fiction half of my comic ^^ BTW, I'll only put up the second part of this when I get atleast 2 pops :D yay

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Comments

Lol ^_^ Thanks...*makes corrections in story journal* I get it is kinda weird to have Japanese and English names, but oh well ^_^ It sounds good, right..? Hahaha

10.28.2007 11:02 AM


Lol ^_^ Thanks...*makes corrections in story journal* I get it is kinda weird to have Japanese and English names, but oh well ^_^ It sounds good, right..? Hahaha

10.28.2007 11:02 AM


Lol ^_^ Thanks...*makes corrections in story journal* I get it is kinda weird to have Japanese and English names, but oh well ^_^ It sounds good, right..? Hahaha

10.28.2007 11:02 AM


I think the overall concept of the story is good, with details on each of the characters. The only thing you may want to take care is punctuation. Like in the second paragraph "I have two best friends. Inari Hirokane and Max Kojima." You should use a comma instead of a full stop after "friends", and the States should be capitalized =D It sounds funny to have a mix of Japanese & English names in the same family =D -Ki

10.27.2007 12:33 AM


cool its good! cant wait 2 read more. *-p0p-*

09.16.2007 04:33 PM


Mother won't let me put up the manga until we get Tao copyrighted...I thought I told you that already >.>

09.16.2007 04:06 PM


happiness, i am happy u made a fiction out of it. I think it'd be awesome if u put a manga up though *pop*

07.12.2007 02:46 PM


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