Begin with Panel showing the Island as a speck on the horizon.

NARRATOR- Once upon a time, long, long ago...there was The Island.

Panel showing the Island closer up- typical tropical setting, volcano, sparkling waves, etc.

NARRATOR- It wasn't a very big island, nor a very important one. In fact, it was indistinguishable from its brothers, except for one, very peculiar thing.

Panel showing the women of the island, playing volleyball on the beach in palm-leaf swimsuits. The net is fashioned from bamboo and the ball is well-worn and patched up, as if it arrived on the shores quite a while before. It might even have the name 'Wilson' scribbled on it. But anyway...

NARRATOR- It was populated entirely with women.

More panels of the women playing volleyball. You begin to notice that they all look fairly similar, save for the shades of their hair and skin.

NARRATOR- And not just women. The Island was populated specifically by beautiful women, only beautiful women.

Frame with the King in his throne, with a crown made from sea shells and shiny and important-looking things. The throne is made of a folding chair decorated with sea shells and all sorts of shiny and important-looking things, and is suitably comfortable for the aging royal. He watches over the volleyball game, admiring his kingdom, and is flanked by a woman on either side, fanning him gently with large palm leaves.

NARRATOR- Well, that is not quite true. There was also a king- the King of the Island of Beautiful Women. He was a benevolent ruler, kind and caring to his people.

Panel from over the King's shoulder, as he watches the scene below.

NARRATOR- Each day, the King watched over his people from high up upon his throne, watching over them as they made merriment and enjoyed themselves. It was a simple life for them, but it was the only one they ever knew.

Panel of the same scene, but from the women's perspective. They seem to be enjoying themselves quite a bit with their game- I doubt anyone is even keeping score...

NARRATOR- The King was getting old, though. Soon, he would pass on, and someone would have to take the throne after him.

Panel showing the titular Prince, in a slightly smaller folding chair, with as many decorations. His crown is similar to his father's, if a bit small for him. He seems far less amused by the volleyball game, and doesn't even seem to mention the two nice ladies fanning him.

NARRATOR- Luckily, the King had one son. Naturally, he was a Prince, and so he was



The Prince watches the game, bored out of his mind. He holds his head on one hand, in turn resting on his knee. He peers out over the horizon, watching the waves. The King watches his son out of the corner of his eye curiously. Focus a panel in on the waves lapping at the shore.

NARRATOR- As everyone knows, a proper King must have a suitable Queen. The King himself had a Queen once, but she had been taken away by the sea, an even longer time ago.

Close-up on the King's face, his gaze fixed on the sea for a moment. He blinks, and stands up to leave.

NARRATOR- Nevertheless, a King had to have a Queen, and the Prince needed a bride, before his eighteenth birthday. On this day, the King had ruled, was the day the Prince would become a man.

Panel of the Prince again, as he stands and stretches. He follows his father, observing the women as they wrap up the game.

NARRATOR- The Prince, on the other hand, could have cared less. It wasn't that he didn't want to be king, but that he had yet to find his queen.

Panels of the women to prove the Prince's viewpoint.

NARRATOR- To the Prince, who had lived his whole life on the Island, all of the women seemed terribly dull. They all looked the same, talked the same, walked the same way- they even ate the same fruits from the same trees. How could he possibly pick a soul mate from any of them?

The Prince walks back to his palace, a glorified and complicated grass-hut castle. He brushes past his father, already snoring on his royal hammock, and takes a seat in his own. He gazes at the moon desperately.

NARRATOR- How wonderful, he thought, would it be to meet someone different. If only he could meet a girl that foreign and unique, he would marry her in a heartbeat.

Next page has a small panel of the same moon.

NARRATOR- Well...

The moon's panel is revealed to be part of the larger panel- a cruise ship caught in a blinding storm.

NARRATOR- ...This is that kind of story...

The next morning. Close-up of a girl, about nineteen, unconscious and lying on the beach. She's clutching bits of the cruise liner, perhaps to keep her afloat. We'll get to a proper description later in the story, so don't be concerned just yet with her appearance. We see impeccably shaped feet surrounding her- so does the girl. She looks up, and sees the women of the Island, looking at her cautiously and frightened. Without a word, they pick her up and carry her to the palace, and promptly dump her in front of the King. The King inspects her from his throne, apparently relocated after yesterday's game.

NARRATOR- The women found the girl the next morning, lying face down on the shore and clutching bits of wood in her hand. They pleaded to the King that he throw her back into the ocean, lest she bring some horrid curse upon the Island. The King ignored his subjects, and instead spoke directly to the girl.

POV of the girl, to make the King appear more intimidating.

KING- Who are you, and from where do you come?

Panels contain images directly based on the girl's story.

NARRATOR- The girl tried to explain to the king as best as she could. The previous night, her ship had struck a large rock and sank. She had survived by floating on a wooden dinner table, and was very hungry and sick and tired. If they would only let her stay for a few days, she could build a boat and sail home.

Panel of the Prince awakening, then flipping off of his hammock in shock.

NARRATOR- It was then that the Prince awoke, and saw the girl with his own eyes.

The girl, scared and confused, against an abstract background, with all sorts of shiny bubbly things to make it appear romantic.

NARRATOR- She was far shorter than the women on the island, and a bit plumper as well; she had no smooth tan, only an uneven sunburn from her cruise; her head was covered in mousy brown hair, tattered and ravaged by the sea, and her eyes were of the same color.

Panel of the Prince's reaction- Hearts in eyes, Tex Avery sort of thing.

NARRATOR- The Prince had finally found his Queen.

The Prince brings the girl to her feet, then promptly falls on his to propose.

NARRATOR- In a heartbeat, the Prince proposed to her. He promised to her the happiest days of her life, that he would care for her and love her and protect her for all time as his Queen. He said plenty of other things, but they all fell under the same concept.

Close-up on the girl's face contemplating her decision. The next panel shows the girl at a younger age, playing with pencil-thin dolls.

NARRATOR- The girl was very confused by all of this, but being proposed to by a Prince will do that to anyone. This particular girl was the sort who played with dolls as a child, arranging dream weddings for them and pretending to be a pretty princess who waited for her Prince Charming to carry her off. She was also the sort of girl who grew out of those things.

Two panels- One, the Prince on his knees, desperate and lustful. The other, the women of the Island, holding nasty-looking sticks with pointy rocks on them.

NARRATOR- Well, it certainly beat the alternative.

The wedding, on top of a cliff, overlooking the sea at sunset. Flowers everywhere, including a lei for the bride and groom. The king is wearing a towel hung over his shoulders to appear like proper robes. The Prince takes his crown, and places it on the girl's head. The King then takes his own crown, revealing a bald spot, and places it on his son's head with a tear in his eye. The new King and Queen kiss, and cheers flare up. A silhouette of the happy couple against the setting sun.

NARRATOR- And so the new King and Queen enjoyed their first night together, the happiest couple alive.

Panels of time passing. The King and Queen ruling over their kingdom, even partaking in a volleyball game with the royal subjects. The Queen watches the women with great unease from her throne again.

NARRATOR- Alas, it was not to be. Many months passed, and with each one the girl grew more and more homesick. She didn't want to leave her husband, but she was terrified of the other women.

The women, looking back at the Queen out of the corner of their eyes.

NARRATOR- The women, on the other hand, were extremely resentful of this outsider taking their Prince, and dreaded her appearance at least as much. One day, the Queen finally confessed to her lover- she wanted to go home. The King accepted, and decided that the two would leave together.

The women present the King and Queen with a large boat, made from bits of driftwood and bamboo. The sail's frame is made from the volleyball net and palm leaves.

NARRATOR- The women, as their last gift to the couple, had built a boat for them, with a spectacularly grand sail so that the girl could leave as quickly as possible with her husband.

The King and Queen board, and the women push the boat out to sea. The couple waves goodbye, the women do the same.

NARRATOR- The couple waved a teary goodbye, as they set sail for the Queen's homeland- a far-off, mystical land known as...

Less-than-ideal portrait of the land mentioned- double-spread, or just one page?

NARRATOR- ...New Jersey.

The King and Queen walk through the treacherous streets, the Queen clearly more comfortable here than the King. Their clothing only attracts more attention from the population, perhaps too much. The roads are grimy and broken, the walls slathered with bizarre graffiti, and the King is pulled away quickly from a creepy-looking man in a trench coat.

NARRATOR- The King kept close to his bride as he walked through these foreign streets, at the same time awed and bewildered.

The two arrive at their destination- an apartment complex.

NARRATOR- At last, the two returned to the Queen's own castle, where the King made a shocking discovery-

They enter the Queen's apartment room, showing her sister lounging on the couch and watching television. Again, descriptions will arrive soon!

NARRATOR- The Queen had a sister. What's more, she was even more foreign and exotic than her sibling, more than the King had ever dreamed of when he was but a Prince.

Same shiny/bubbly background as before, with the Queen's sister as the focus. The couch she rests on disappears, but the pose is the same, her eyes deadened from too many Seinfeld re-runs. She has bags of junk food all around, and as a result is covered in horrid acne.

NARRATOR- This mysterious creature had surpassed even the King's high expectations, indulging in the most fascinating foods and activities! He couldn't stop staring.

Normal frame, showing the Queen's reaction to the King's face, again in Tex Avery-style lust.

NARRATOR- Needless to say, the Queen was fairly ticked.

Next shot of later that night, the King on the couch alone and heartbroken, then the Queen and her sister in their own beds. The Queen lies awake, torn and frustrated.

NARRATOR- That night the King was given the proper punishment for his actions, but it was not enough to ease the Queen. What was wrong with her, that her husband could be so easily distracted with another woman?

She sees a magazine, apparently one of many scattered on the floor. It is open to a page with a gorgeous woman similar to the Islanders- it's an ad for a plastic surgeon.

NARRATOR- The Queen knew what she had to do to regain her husband's love.

The next day. The King is still asleep, having had a horrible night's sleep. The doorbell rings, which startles the King and causes him to fall over. He answers the door, to find the new, silicone-enhanced Queen. She now looks exactly like the women from the Island, save for her freckles.

QUEEN- Hello, honey.

The King's reaction- startled, confused, horrified beyond belief.

NARRATOR- The King was speechless, though not in the way the Queen had intended.

The Queen steps forward, and the King inches back, falling over on the couch again. He stares back, now both of them horrified.

PRINCE- What have you done to yourself?

The two arguing with each other.

NARRATOR- The King was baffled and angered. How could she have so carelessly thrown away her beauty like that? Such a waste, he said! The Queen told him that she had done it all to please him. The King told her that she was not the woman he had married.

The Queen slaps him. Hard. She pulls out a can of mace and from the King's POV, we see her pull the trigger. Her face has no pity or sorrow in it, only pure hatred. Panels showing the King's activities in those days. No lights are turned on; he simply waits by the doorway, and sleeps there each night.

NARRATOR- Using a magic spell, the Queen blinded her husband as she burst out the door. The King shouted after her, but she paid no attention. She headed back to the docks, as the King waited for her to return. For three days he waited in darkness, grumbling and promising himself that she would be back.

The King leaves, stumbling out of the apartment and wandering helplessly throughout New Jersey.

NARRATOR- After those three days, he left the Queen's castle, wandering the strange and unfriendly land, calling his beloved's name everywhere he went.

The King stumbles into an abandoned alleyway. Overhead a poster for the plastic surgeon looms, though he can't see it. He tosses his crown in frustration, stabbing the poster's model in the heart, and falls to his knees shivering in the cold.

NARRATOR- At last, the King realized the truth- his Queen was gone. Without a Queen, he was just a lowly, and lonely, Prince once more.

A figure appears, though we cannot see their face. The figure helps the Prince (formerly the King) up. A hand reaches out to touch his face, and the Prince takes it without hesitation. The figure props the Prince up, with one arm over his shoulder, and carries him off steadily. A close-up of the Prince's face is one of pleasantness as he rests against the figure's head.

NARRATOR- Out of nowhere this strange figure appeared. He had never met the Prince before, and still he came to his aid. Something in the Prince stirred, that he had never felt before. It didn't matter that he couldn't see the face of his savior- she was his soul mate.

We now cut to the Queen, sailing off with a determined look on her face.

NARRATOR- The Queen, meanwhile, had realized where her true home lied. She was heading back to the Island, to be amongst her kind once more...

The Queen, sailing off on the open sea. Her city clothes are tattered, and scraps have been chained into a headband. She finally arrives at the Island, where the women barely recognize her. They have also built another volleyball court, complete with a woman in charge of keeping score.

NARRATOR- The Queen, after much traveling and searching, at last found the Island of Beautiful Women again. The women almost didn't recognize her, but her crown was all they needed to figure it out. They saw her new form and praised her, welcoming her as a fellow sister. They had an all-night volleyball tournament, in praise of the gods for the return of their now-beautiful leader.

Shots of the volleyball tournament. The next day, the Queen sits in her new throne (taken from the now-absent King). A few of the women present her with the gift described below, an ancient map with a red X on a single island, with the words, "HERE THERE BE STUDS" scrawled on it.

NARRATOR- Soon afterwards, the women gave the Queen their prized gift- a map that the old King had kept hidden from them for his entire reign. When he had finally passed away, he bequeathed it to his subjects, saying that only their Queen could lead them to their promised land.

We now see the Queen, now with a stylish eye patch, setting sail once more, with a fleet of similar ships made by the women of the Island. They sail off into the horizon.

NARRATOR- And so the Queen of the Island of Beautiful Women and her royal subjects sailed off in search of the legendary Island of Studly Men. However, that is a tale for another time, and ours is not quite over yet...

In New Jersey, another wedding, this one between the Prince and the strange figure. This time it's also set on a cliff overlooking the sea at sunset. The Prince is dressed in modern clothing and the stranger is dressed as a bride. A smaller crowd is here than at the wedding, but it is nonetheless as joyful, if not more.

NARRATOR- Soon after the Prince had been rescued by the handsome stranger, he proposed, and the stranger accepted.

The priest motions to the Prince, who wears thick black glasses as a result of his blindness. He lifts up the veil of the bride to reveal it is in fact a man- must keep the design as androgynous as possible to further confuse readers, but he will have a mustache, just to make it clear.

NARRATOR- He never did realize he had married a man- nor, in my opinion, would he have cared.

The two men kiss. We cut to a shot of the Prince's glasses, fallen off and lying on the ground by his walking stick.

NARRATOR- After all, love is blind.