ART + LIFE
Marina
"Okay, war versus negotiation, list the pros and cons of both with bias towards the one you favor". She stifled a yawn and tried to get her mind off the throbbing pain in her cheek. "I can do this" she thought. Her dissertation was due by her first morning class which, judging by the light creeping through her window, was only a few hours away. She drummed her fingers against her cheek in thought, an old habit, yelping as a fresh wave of pain shot across her face. Getting up from her bed where she was writing, she walked to the looking glass against the wall. The welt sat upon her too pale face, gaping and angry. She almost felt as if it were condemning her for her clumsiness. She had been practicing her sword fighting when she'd heard someone call her name "Rini!". She turned and whack, her cheek connected right into her opponent's sword. Things like this always happened to her.
She was odd. She knew it. Incredibly pale skin, gray eyes that people always told her shifted color, and the cloak she always wore. Like her blanket against the world. Yet, she was always so cold. Even now, she shivered as the goosebumps crawled across her skin. The only thing she had was her intelligence. And the sea. She always had the sea.
She was interrupted from her musings by a soft tap at the door.
"Come in" she called.
Aidan, walked through the door and sat down on her bed, "Are you still doing homework?"
"Yes" she responded ashamedly. "I got a late start, I was practicing my fencing..."
"I can see that" Aidan chuckled pointing at her cheek, then quickly turned serious "Rini.."
"Please Aidan, don't start" Rini begged as she plopped next to him on the edge of the bed.
"I'm just worried about your future, you know I've always wanted what was best for you"
"But maybe marriage isn't best for me" Rini argued, tired of the age old subject.
"The only options for a girl are marriage, or a life of chastity and dedication to the temple. Pick marriage, Rini, and you can still have some of the things you want".
"It's not fair, just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I don't have a mind. I think I've proven that."
"The outside world isn't the same as the world within the walls of this school" Aidan said kindly.
Rini knew that. A young Aidan Cerise had found her when she was a newborn abandoned on the beach. The 8 year old boy had ran to his parents and showed them the baby, who they took in as their own and named Marina. Mrs. Cerise loved Rini like the daughter she never had. And Mr. Cerise, the headmaster of the most prestigious school in the land, gave Rini a gift she'd always treasure-an education. She knew how precious the privilege to expound her mind was in a world where a woman's only goals were to marry well and bear sons. She also knew that this dream couldn't last forever. She wanted to be writer, but who would read a woman's work? Who would respect a woman's thoughts?
"So aren't you excited?" Aidan asked.
"About getting married?" Rini asked morosely.
"No." He softly tapped her over the head with a thick parchment, sealed in wax. "Did you even listen to one word of all I've just said? The King asked me to send the most brilliant mind from my school to serve on the Prince's advisory council."
Rini blinked at him. "So what? The school gets honors like these all the time."
"Rini, I'm sending you. Start packing, this is your chance to show the world that women do have minds."
"Oh!" Rini leapt up and hugged her brother, "Oh! Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity."
This was it! She was finally being given her chance, smiling as she packed her bags, she reviewed everything she knew about the state of affairs in the country. She'd make her brother proud, and she'd make her deceased adoptive parents proud.
"Oh and Rini," Aidan called as he walked towards the door, "don't forget to turn in your completed dissertation before you leave".
She was odd. She knew it. Incredibly pale skin, gray eyes that people always told her shifted color, and the cloak she always wore. Like her blanket against the world. Yet, she was always so cold. Even now, she shivered as the goosebumps crawled across her skin. The only thing she had was her intelligence. And the sea. She always had the sea.
She was interrupted from her musings by a soft tap at the door.
"Come in" she called.
Aidan, walked through the door and sat down on her bed, "Are you still doing homework?"
"Yes" she responded ashamedly. "I got a late start, I was practicing my fencing..."
"I can see that" Aidan chuckled pointing at her cheek, then quickly turned serious "Rini.."
"Please Aidan, don't start" Rini begged as she plopped next to him on the edge of the bed.
"I'm just worried about your future, you know I've always wanted what was best for you"
"But maybe marriage isn't best for me" Rini argued, tired of the age old subject.
"The only options for a girl are marriage, or a life of chastity and dedication to the temple. Pick marriage, Rini, and you can still have some of the things you want".
"It's not fair, just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I don't have a mind. I think I've proven that."
"The outside world isn't the same as the world within the walls of this school" Aidan said kindly.
Rini knew that. A young Aidan Cerise had found her when she was a newborn abandoned on the beach. The 8 year old boy had ran to his parents and showed them the baby, who they took in as their own and named Marina. Mrs. Cerise loved Rini like the daughter she never had. And Mr. Cerise, the headmaster of the most prestigious school in the land, gave Rini a gift she'd always treasure-an education. She knew how precious the privilege to expound her mind was in a world where a woman's only goals were to marry well and bear sons. She also knew that this dream couldn't last forever. She wanted to be writer, but who would read a woman's work? Who would respect a woman's thoughts?
"So aren't you excited?" Aidan asked.
"About getting married?" Rini asked morosely.
"No." He softly tapped her over the head with a thick parchment, sealed in wax. "Did you even listen to one word of all I've just said? The King asked me to send the most brilliant mind from my school to serve on the Prince's advisory council."
Rini blinked at him. "So what? The school gets honors like these all the time."
"Rini, I'm sending you. Start packing, this is your chance to show the world that women do have minds."
"Oh!" Rini leapt up and hugged her brother, "Oh! Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity."
This was it! She was finally being given her chance, smiling as she packed her bags, she reviewed everything she knew about the state of affairs in the country. She'd make her brother proud, and she'd make her deceased adoptive parents proud.
"Oh and Rini," Aidan called as he walked towards the door, "don't forget to turn in your completed dissertation before you leave".
I've been working and building on this idea for most of my life trying to perfect it. I would love to one day adapt it into a manga series but I'm afraid that there might be too much written content for that but I'd still be excited if it could turn it into a novel. You guys PLEASE comment on this, and you can be honest I don't mind some constructive criticism. I just want to know If this story has a shot before I try to get it published. Well here's the first chapter please enjoy!!!
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- POPS: 6
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Hello i red your work you are very talanted I am allso a writer from what I red you are very talanted writer your werding was very exlant.You can be a exlent writer.I have con pleted my ferst book Iam going to start my next book vere soon.This next boo whill be the 2end book of a sers of books called the goddess of crystal thera.I hope that we can talk on linne very soon. zodiac100
ZODIAC100
2007-10-22 16:58:45
Very nice! ^_^ I usually find it hard to be drawn into stories with opressed women, but this really caught my attention! ^_^ Way to go!
RYUJIN
2007-08-21 08:00:57
Hehehe..I loove the name Aiden-Aidan..whatev *nudges you towards my fiction* but this was gooooodddd!! Please let me know if you make another chapter!!! ^___^
ROCKSTARJULIET
2007-08-16 21:35:41
Did not read it all but liked it I am going to capy and past it so I can make it biger I keep geting kicked off the net
BLEEDINGZODEN
2007-08-12 13:27:33
Thanks, you guys!!!
SONYBEAR
2007-08-12 11:48:24
Hmm... I really liked it!
7ANIMEANGEL7
2007-08-12 10:03:17
At first glance it sounded a little formal but once I realized that it was clearly set in a more reserved time it made much more sense for it to read like that. I would not be concerned with too much content for a potential Manga. So long as it is of good quality and has an intriguing story holding it all together all you would need to do is perhaps allow for Section Breaks. In that way a Publisher could take on a Section to try, perhaps 3-5 Manga worth, if it sells well they could agree to do more. I would definitely be interested in reading more of your work, well done!
HEXETER
2007-08-12 08:26:01
Interesting introduction! A unique history leaving the reader wanting more. Just why was she abandoned on the beach of all places? The first paragraph she's dealing with a difficult bruise as well as difficult report. Mental wrestling that is sure to develop into an even more interesting plot. I think she's going to get married by the end. :P
LINKYLE
2007-08-12 03:58:31
That was amazing!! I loved it without a dought! haha! I think it really dose have some potentul as a good novel! Good luck with it and I hope that it takes you far! You have an amazing talent! I wish I could write as good as this!
HARUSELIE
2007-08-11 20:46:02