Every week I have a creative meeting with the media team here at TOKYOPOP. Even though I’m technically part of web marketing, with a heavy influence on community, it was decided that it was important for me to attend. I really get to see what’s happening creatively in the company but also out in the world as a whole. We explore latest trends and techniques, and really, telling a story isn’t all that much different then marketing one. Also when you really get down to it, I do see myself as an artist with artistic goals, I’m not just a marketer, or community manager, I have so much more I want to bring to the company then just those traits.

Which brings me to this week’s creative meeting, where we were asked one very important question.

“Where do you want to be in 10 years?”

It wasn’t stated that you had to envision yourself at TOKYOPOP in 10 years, it wasn’t even stated that you had to put it in an artistic frame. No, just you, what would make you satisfied, where would you be, what would you be doing, what would make you happy, in 10 years.

Everyone thinks, “I’d like to ___” or “It would be cool if ___” from time to time. But when do we realistically think to ourselves, “This is where I want to end up.” I know I hadn’t thought about it for a very long time. The last time I’d seriously contemplated it, I was just graduating high school. Ever since I was a little girl, I had a pencil in my hand. I loved to draw, I loved to create. I was without a doubt going to be an animator, a graphic designer, an artist!
But dreams of little girls are often misconstrued, and hardly ever do we realize the reality of our dreams. So I drew, and did some graphic arts and I was a very successful freelancer for about two years while I simultaneously took classes in college. Then I discovered that I hated it. I absolutely abhorred doing that work for money. The clients never knew what they wanted, and when you showed them something they always wanted it different, hated it, it was always wrong even when it was right. I had a passion for art, but not for the business attached to it.

So I decided, you know what, let’s try breaking into anime and manga instead. Not as an artist but as a business person. I got my foot in the door, first at WarCry and then at TOKYOPOP, a few articles free-lanced in Anime Insider, and press coverage at cons.

But today, when asked, “Where do you want to be in 10 years?” I realized I had never seriously considered where to take my career in this new direction. But I knew, the moment the question had been asked.

I wanted to be like Caitlin Glass. From voice acting to producing she’s an anime jack of all trades. She started from the bottom and worked her way up. I’ve seen her in person from my press days, and her passion and drive for the anime genre is unmatched, her professionalism and creativity astounding. I knew, and said to myself, “That’s where I want to be.” In the heart of making what I love, what I have a passion and drive for, in the very core of anime, and making it happen and come to life in every way I possibly can.

I thought that maybe at one time I wanted to just be a reporter, but I don’t think I could settle for that. I want to be the one creating something so spectacular, so loved by the fans that it deserves to be reported on.

So where do you want to be, 10 years from now, 20, 30 years? It’s alright if you don’t know. Sometimes you lose your dream and it takes awhile to find another. Sometimes, you don’t have a dream at all, everything’s foggy and it’s hard to see where to place your feet next. But I think we could all stand to stop and take a moment, if not career wise, than just as a person and figure out what would make you happy.