Yes – it’s finally done. It’s not really much of a clanfic – more of a fairy-tale-adventure-story-in-which-the-characters-have-names-similar-to-members-of-the-MLC. But still. I should probably tell you who the characters are before we begin – most are obvious, but some less so:

Sir Geoffrey Bernard Hathaway: Mr. GBH

The Mage, Nell of Mearlow: NearlyMello

Fazerak the imp: ForTheCraic, i.e. me.

Anne of Eve, the sorceress: AnnChoEve

The Shy One: ShyOne1

Lord Grinzor: Grinzor

Princess Calamari: Calamari

As for anyone who isn’t specifically included, think of yourself as one of Lord Grinzor’s guards!

And, so, we begin.

I’ve never had the greatest skill for prose –

I find that tales present themselves in verse.

And so I’ll write in rhythmic, rhyming rows,

And hope that the result is none the worse.

The Beginning of a Quest

Now, first and foremost, I must set the scene:

A land ruled over by an evil Lord;

The princess kidnapped – who will be the Queen?

A Knight must rescue her by force of sword.

He’ll journey long and far across the land,

To save her from Lord Grinzor’s deathly hold,

But will all go according to the plan?

That, reader, still remains here to be told.

The Journey

The Knight, Sir Geoffrey Bernard Hathaway,

Obliged across the wildest wastes to ride,

Went onwards not alone, do not dismay –

Mage Nell of Mearlow voyaged by his side.

They rode ‘cross hill and valley, moor and park,

‘Tis to be said they journeyed very far.

At day they travelled t’ward the fortress dark,

The nights they passed beneath the twinkling stars.

The Cursed Forest

Then, after days of travel’d come to pass,

The pair arrived aside a forest black.

“My friend, shall we go hence?” the brave Knight asked.

“‘Tis certain there can be no turning back.”

Replied the mage, and so the two went on

Into the wood, called “ Forest of the Dead.”

They dared not venture through the black beyond,

But stayed unto the narrow path instead.

The Mischief of the Imp

But whilst they travelled through the haunted copse,

An imp did see them passing by her way.

She called out to the travellers to stop,

And asked them in her home a while to stay.

But Knight and Mage knew not their own mistake,

For Fazerak the imp played mischief well.

And as they crossed the threshold, rest to take,

She cast upon them both a binding spell!

However, when they told her of their quest

To liberate the princess from her plight,

The fairy thought allegiance would be best,

For Grinzor treated all the folk with spite.

And so she set the voyagers both free,

And joined them then, to help their noble cause.

They thus became a merry band of three

And as they rode on, never did they pause.

The Merry Band Leaves the Forest

At last they neared the gloomy forest’s edge

Rejoicing at the trial they’d overcome.

The sunshine thoughts of happy times did dredge:

They knew to hardship they would not succumb.

The House of the Sorceress

They travelled far, and after many days,

Their store of food was almost at an end.

But then they passed a mansion on their way!

A noble house, where they a night might spend.

They came upon the lady of the house.

Said she, “I am the sorceress, Ann of Eve.

Please let me all of you, brave souls, espouse,

Oh, ample food and rest you shall receive!”

The lady was most beauteous and kind,

They would have stayed forever if they could!

Her home brought comfort, rest and peace of mind,

And she to all of them was very good.

But, as is habit to such handsome maids,

Ann set her sights on charming noble men.

She cast a spell upon Sir Hathaway –

He fell in love with her right there and then!

Oh, Ann was not of innocent intent:

She and Lord Grinzor worked for the same cause.

On domination both of them were bent –

For this, they must eliminate the flaws.

Yes, Ann of Eve wished death on our brave Knight.

And now that he was deep in love with her,

So little could be done to set things right.

Will this now be the cause of great despair?

Intervention of a Wise Bird

One evening, after they had taken tea,

They all did swim in Ann’s own bathing pool.

The sorceress regarded them with glee –

Indeed, it seemed that she had tricked the fools!
She took a poison which she had prepared,

And was about the liquid to decant

Into the waters! Suddenly a bird

Swooped overhead, deliverance to grant.

The bird, it was in fact, a legend known

To all, but seldom seen by any soul.

‘Twas called “The Shy One,” for ‘twas always lone,

Though sometimes, helping travellers was its goal.

And so it came unto the mansion then,

And knocked the poison from the witch’s hands,

But flew away – they saw it not again.

Now all knew of the lady’s evil plans.

So Nell of Mearlow cast a deadly curse

To rid the world of evil in that form.

The mage had killed the sorceress – none the worse

Was anyone, and not a soul would mourn.

On to the Dark Fortress

The group then left the mansion straight away,

And went toward Lord Grinzor’s fortress dark.

Their journey did not last more than a day,

And then they stood before the castle stark.

The Rescue of the Princess

It was the dead of night when they arrived,

So in they crept, with magic as their key.

They passed the guards with ease: they were disguised

With magical invisibility.

They stole through passageways and corridors,

Up steps and stairways to a tower tall,

Where Princess Calamari would be stored

If fairy-tales meant anything at all.

Indeed, their supposition did hold true:

They found the Princess in the tower room.

They placed some pillows in her bed in lieu

Of her in case the guards should enter soon.

Ah, but alas, the guards were not such fools!

They searched the room soon after the escape

And, knowing that Lord Grinzor would be cruel

If th’prisoner was lost, they then gave chase.

Capture by the Guards

The band of heroes hurried down the stairs,

Through passages and corridors once more.

The guards pursued them, much as angry bears

Might chase their prey across the forest floor.

The escapees had reached the fortress gate,

But were dismayed to find that it was locked!

The guards surrounded them – oh, what dread fate!

On every side of them the way was blocked.

Lord Grinzor’s Folly

A frightening flash of lightning lit the sky

As stormy winds blew through the tallest trees.

A fanfare sounded – Grinzor had arrived.

A more dramatic entrance could not be.

As Grinzor paced before the armoured guards,

And all the prisoners now in their keep,

He struck fear right into their very hearts.

He cleared his throat and then began to speak.

“Alas, ye noble Knight, ‘tis your defeat,

And I, the Dark Lord Grinzor, win the day.

And so, man, beg and tremble at my feet –

The time has come when you will have to pay.

You stole the Princess from beneath my nose,

And you, mage, killed my lovely Ann of Eve.

You truly will deserve, my hated foes,

Whatever punishment you shall receive…”

It was quite clear that Grinzor loved to preach:

His monologue went on and on and on.

And he was so engrossed in his own speech,

He did not notice everyone had gone.

The guards left once an hour had elapsed.

The heroes took their chance and slipped away.

A tree fell, caused the great wall to collapse,

And so they left that place without delay.

Return of the Victorious Knight

The Knight, the mage, the imp, the Princess too,

Began at once the journey home again.

They passed through all the places that they knew:

The hills, the woods, the valleys, moors and glens.

 Before long, they had reached their homeland fair,

And Princess Calamari wept for joy.

She was so glad to see her loved ones there,

And all a happy time then did enjoy.

The Knight, Sir Geoffrey Bernard Hathaway,

Mage Nell of Mearlow, also Fazerak,

Were honoured for their bravery that day,

And all were glad that they were safely back.