May 15

            In two days, I'm leaving the palace. I went to visit Aunt Jevoura in her bedchamber and cried to her.

            "I don't want to go away!" I lamented desperately. "Could you please convince Grandfather not to send me away from here? I don't want to leave you, Aunt Jevoura!"

            Aunt Jevoura looked at me blankly, as if she'd forgotten who I was.

            I flung my thin arms around her slim, strong waist. "Please, Aunt Jevoura! Don't let them send me away! Please! I'd be miserable and lonely without you!"

            I felt one of Aunt Jevoura's arm gently wrap around my waist, her other hand softly stroking my short black hair. Although her touch was soft, her gestures weren't loving.

            "Sein," she quietly uttered, "deep down, I am not the loving aunt you believe I am."

            "What do you mean?" I wailed.

            She couldn't meet my eyes. She looked to the side, her eyes on the carpet that covered the floor. In a low voice, she explained, "You mother died because of you. When she was murdered right before my eyes, I thought I would never finish mourning. I cared for you, trying my best to raise you the way your mother would, and to think of you as my beloved twin sister's son. But at the bottom of my heart, I couldn't forgive you for being the cause of your mother's murder."

            "Are…Are you saying you want me to leave?" I thought I could feel tears entering my eyes.

            Aunt Jevoura's head lowered as though she couldn't bear to face me. "I'm terribly sorry, Sein. Please forgive me. But I'd be happy to see you from time to time."

            I could only nod slowly. I trudged out of Aunt Jevoura's bedchamber and went to my own room. When I flopped onto my bed, I couldn’t contain my emotions anymore. My tears exploded like a volcano, and I bawled and screamed, grateful that my bedchamber was in a tower rather than in one of the rooms that lined the palace halls. So, Aunt Jevoura, who I always thought was the only person who loved me, didn't completely love me that way at all. Now, I don't care if I'm taken away from the palace. Maybe I could find a better life.

May 17

            Tonight, at twilight, Yoki and I are leaving. All my belongings are packed.

            Last night, Aunt Jevoura came to me before I went to sleep. Although I was still upset at her, I was curious with what she was doing in my bedchamber. She was carrying my mother's portrait.

            "Sein," she softly told me, "I wanted to give you these things."

            I pulled Mother's portrait from her and stared at her painted face.

            "Why are you giving this to me?" I asked Aunt Jevoura.

            "It feels right that you should have it," she responded. "Besides, she is your mother."

            I nodded. When she left my room, I played Mother's music box before I fell asleep.

            That girl came to me again. Without thinking, I burst into tears in front of her, unable to stop the flow of the hot liquid. They rolled off the edges of my face and splattered on the ground at her feet.

            "Don't look at me," I sputtered to her, turning my back on her. I was slouching over, and my hands covered my face. "I'm a wreck. I'm an ugly, sick half-breed. You don't have to be here if you don't want to."

            Instead of leaving me alone, she gently hugged me. In a calm, wise voice, she told me, "Sein, no matter what, there'll always be someone in this world who loves you for who you are. Remember that."

            My tears hated. Abruptly, I woke up, and found daylight greeting me. The girl was gone, though I really thought I could feel the warmth of her arms. Was it possible that someone would really care for me? Truly love me? I know Yoki would always be my faithful pet bat. Waking up from the dream made me feel a vast space of forlorn emptiness inside my heart.

Later

            The sun has just gone down under the horizon. All my things are packed and are stored in my carriage. I also took my diary, my pen, a bottle of ink, and my sketchbook. Through my curtained window, I can see that my carriage is hauling me away from the palace. The gargantuan castle is becoming smaller and smaller. It is soon the size of a dollhouse, and then an anthill. I close the curtains and slouch in my seat. Yoki is next to me. He is relaxing, and both of us are silent. I can feel the rocking of the carriage as it's being pulled. It's slightly bumpy. Even though it's dark, I can see very well, thanks to the night vision that I inherited from Mother; all vampires have night vision. I'm playing Mother's music box and I just clasped the pendant around my neck. I'm so bored. I'm going to fall asleep.