Chapter Twelve

Sein's Diary, Part 2

 

Later

            It must be…past midnight. We've arrived to my new home, Bormaunt Castle, the home of my cousins. When I entered, I was shown to my new bedchamber. It is on the third floor, and it's located in one of the rooms that line the halls rather than in a tower like my previous home. Yoki is also sleeping in here. He's hanging upside down from a rod that's next to my bookshelf. It's empty right now. I'm not going to put anything on it until tomorrow. I'm just so sleepy right now.

 

May 18

            I've just explored my new home. I found a favorite spot to write: I'm now sitting on the sill of a stained glass window. The window depicts a vampire maiden flying in the night sky with bat wings. Dark clouds dot the blue-black sky, and a tiny town with lit windows is far on the ground beneath her. There was a legend that said that vampires could once transform into bats or grow bat wings. However, they were punished by the gods by having that ability confiscated because the gods were angry with vampires for drinking blood and taking away innocent lives.

            Bormaunt Castle has a very different atmosphere from the palace. For one thing, it's better lit here. It's not as quiet as the palace was. Instead of vampire servants who sleep during the day, there are ghost servants. They don't need any sleep, and they float around, carrying on with their tasks for twenty-four hours. I hear their conversations as they pass by, which mainly consists of gossip. I can hear some of them sneak whispers about me, how I'm new here, and that I'm the notoriously famed dhampir prince. Nulena is the only one who's awake besides me. She socializes with human aristocrats outside the castle. They don't know she's the daughter of vampires, and I heard that she uses a pseudonym when telling them her name. She's forced to break her relationship with them once they start to age, while she remains youthful.

            I'm going to see if there's anything else to do in the castle.

 

May 21

            If Nulena can go out and socialize with humans during the day, why can't I? They'll never have to know I'm half-vampire. It's not very often that I can see humans, either. I don't want to be cooped up in the castle all the time. I'll go right now!

 

Later

            What a day! I must write everything down before I sleep so that I won't forget even a scrap of detail.

            This early morning, while Yoki was asleep, I left the castle. The ghost guards let me cross the drawbridge and walk away from the castle. I suppose that's an advantage to being a vampire royalty, because I hear that human royalties are either kept inside the castle all day, or escorted everywhere by guards to prevent assassination.

            When I exited the castle, I followed a path that cut through a lush meadow in order to reach the town, called Bormaunt, which Bormaunt Castle overlooks. The air outside the castle felt so clean and free. I deeply inhaled it, relishing the spring air. When I came to a town, humans swarmed all around me. They wore posh garments of brightly colored silk, velvet, or cotton.

            As I strolled among the streets, I saw women giving me glances. Their eyes weren't cold the way I'm used to being looked at. They all smiled at me, and their eyes were shy. I never got this kind of attention before. It made me feel flustered.

            I could smell the savory scent of freshly baked loaves of bread. When a worker from the bakery, a young woman simply dressed in a blue dress and a white apron, came out of the bakery to draw in breaths of fresh air, I drew towards her. A flustered look blotted her face when she saw me. I asked her, "Is that your bread that I smell?'

            "Why yes." The worker nodded vigorously. A silly smile spread upon her freckled face.

            "It smells wonderful," I proclaimed. "You must be a wonderful baker."

            She blushed and couldn't stop smiling. "Really?"

            "Yes, Miss."

            She looked as though she had received the best compliment of her life. She quickly turned and beckoned me to follow her inside. When I was inside the shade of the bakery, she thrust a loaf of bread into my hands.

            "But I don't have money!" I told her.

            "No, it's for free," she answered, smiling. "It's especially for you."

            "Free?"

            "Yes."

            I smiled. "Thank you very much, Miss."

            "Oh, it's my pleasure!"

            Outside, I snacked on the bread that the young woman had generously given me. As I continued to explore Bormaunt, a single young woman caught my eye. She was seated on a bench by a park with spring green eyes. She was dressed in a lacy dress of yellow trimmed with thick white lace. A bonnet shaded her pretty, heart-shaped face. She looked down at a sketchbook she held, lightly sketching with a pencil.

            I drew towards her. She didn't notice that I was behind her. In her sketchbook, I saw her draw a tree that stood at one side of the park. Although I could see that she drew with skill, some of her lines were quite awkward and raw with practice.

            "That's a very good drawing," I blurted.

            She whirled her head, surprised to find me standing behind her.

            "You scared me!" she cried, but she also smiled and released a giggle. "Thank you."

            "You're welcome." I gave her a nod.

            She studied my face for a while, her pale-blue eyes scanning over my appearance.

            "What's your name?" she inquired.

            I hesitated for a moment. Could I trust her with my name? Nevertheless, before I could think clearly, I truthfully responded, "Sein."

            "Ah, I see. That's the same name as the bastard dhampir prince who I've heard has just recently moved to the castle where the lord of this town lives."

            I slightly cringed. "Yes. What a coincident."

            "I absolutely don't believe in harmony between vampires and humans," she continued. "It's such an abomination. We can never live in peace with vampires. It only they could all perish; but no, they are powerful over humans."

            "What's your name?" I asked, desiring to change the subject.

            "Oh, pardon me for not introducing myself earlier."

            The girl stood up and brushed her skirt with her hands. She held out a hand, which was covered with a delicate, lacy white glove. "I am Ceira."

            I firmly shook her hand, which was as small as a lily flower compared to my large hands.

            "Ceira," I echoed, feeling her name on my tongue. "It's such a simple, yet elegant name."

            Ceira smiled, absolutely pleased. "Thank you. I was named after my grandmother. She was once a maid for a noble vampire family, but ran away when one of them had planned to kill her for her blood. She can smell out vampires, humans, and dhampirs, although her ability to smell has deteriorated now that she's so old. Perhaps you'd like to meet her. I'd be happy to introduce you to my family."

            "Yes, that would be nice." I held my hands behind my back and smiled.

            "Are you new here?" she curiously inquired. "I know just about everyone in Bormaunt, but I've never seen you here."

            "Oh," I blurted, thinking of what to say. "Well, I am new here. I'm just…visiting some ancient relatives of mine."

            "I see. Who are they? I'm sure I know who they are."

            "No, I don't think so." I was creating lies as I continued through my sentences. "They rarely go outside, and they don't publicize who they are. Starting from today, I am going to visit them for one week every month."

            "Oh." Ceira tapped her small chin, pondering of a thought. "Would you like to accompany me as I'm walking home?'

            "Certainly," I told her. I was interested in talking some more to her. "I don't know where you live, though."

            "I'll lead you," she assured.

            As we walked among the neat streets that were busy with people, we excitedly chatted with each other. I learned that she was currently seventeen years; her eighteenth birthday was coming up in a few months. Her parents were searching for a suitable husband for her, but she vetoed all their choices. She's taken art seriously ever since she was thirteen. Her favorite color is yellow, because it reminds her of daffodils, sunshine, and baby chicks. I told her that my age was eighteen, and that I've been drawing and painting ever since I could hold on to art materials.

            Her house was a tall, three-story white building. Everything look so prim with a lawn in front of the house, a peaceful fountain, and pink, yellow, and white tulips.

            "May I see you again?" I asked her. I felt that I was becoming friends with Ceira.

            "I was just about to ask the same thing!" Ceira wore an unbelievably cheerful expression. "Yes, I'd love to see you again! How about tomorrow?"

            "Where?"

            "At the park where we first spoke. I'll be waiting for you at the bench at one o'clock in the afternoon."

            I smiled. "I will not fail to meet you there."

            When she left my sight, I couldn't wait to see her tomorrow. No one cared that I had gone outside. I'm glad.

 

 

May 26

            For the past several days, I've been spending all my afternoons with Ceira. I've had so much fun. We've eaten, walked, talked, and even went on a boat ride at a lake two days ago. Today, she asked me, "When are you leaving?"

            I was alarmed by the question. "Why? Don't you enjoy time with me?"

            "Yes, but you told me that you visit your relatives for a week every month."

            I had forgotten!

            "Well," I awkwardly began, "tomorrow is my last day. I'm going to return home."

            "Oh." A look of disappointment washed over Ceira's sweet face.

            "But I'll be back next month for another week," I quickly added.

            "You had better! I'll miss you as I wait for you!"

            "Don't worry," I promised her. "You will definitely see me again."

            "Promise?"

            "Promise?"

            "Swear upon your heart?"

            "I swear, Ceira."

            Now that I'm back at the palace, I have to stay here until next month. How empty it feels to be at the castle, waiting for a whole month before I can see Ceira again. I'd love it if I can see her everyday.

 

 

May 29

            Typher and Cassus are making fun of me. They say I'm so lame because all I do is sit around and write. Oh, and they’re still calling me a heart collector when Typher is the true heart collector!

 

June 20

            For a month, I've been dreaming of Ceira and waiting to see her again. She's such a pretty girl. I enjoyed her company when I spent time with her last month. She's so charming and polite. I told Yoki all about her. From what he hears of her, he'd like to meet her. Tomorrow, I'm going to go see her! Yoki is willing to give up a day of sleep in order to meet her. He's going to take a long nap tonight so that he'll have energy during the day. I can hardly wait to see Ceira again!

 

June 21

            I introduced Yoki and Ceira to each other. Ceira finds Yoki very sweet and loves petting him on the head. Yoki giggles whenever Ceira does this to him.

            Today, while we strolled around the town, Yoki and Ceira were chatting animatedly. For some reason, I couldn't help but to be slightly irritated about this. I wanted to talk to Ceira, but I felt as though Yoki was taking up a lot of the conversation. I felt very satisfied when Ceira and I were talking, but I always felt as though I wanted more.

            Before Yoki and I went back to the castle, Ceira invited us to dinner with her family tomorrow night.

            "Yes, I'd love to come!" I exclaimed.

            "Wonderful!" Sarah cooed. She turned to Yoki and inquired, "How about you?"

            To my surprise, Yoki shook his head. "Sorry, Ceira; I give you my regrets for rejecting your invitation. I missed a whole day of sleep today, and I must catch up on some beauty sleep."

            "Oh, that's perfectly fine!" Ceira told him, not appearing bothered at all. "If that's what you want to do, do so!" She smiled. She looked at me questioningly, asking, "You're definitely coming, are you, Sein?"

            "Of course I will, Ceira!" I told her. "I will not fail to join you in dinner tomorrow."

            "Thank you!"

           When Yoki and I departed from Ceira, I kissed her hand when we bid each other good-bye. On the way home, I couldn't help but to let my heads drift to the clouds. I was annoyed that Yoki couldn't stop lightly teasing me, but my thoughts of Ceira were all that mattered.

 

June 22

            I must write everything before I go to sleep.

            Ceira's home is much prettier on the inside than it is on the outside. The pastel-colored walls were hung with paintings of landscapes, still life, and portraits. Every room was elegantly furnished. The welcoming colors made me feel like a stranger among the cheerful surroundings.

            The dining room had a chandelier suspended from the ceiling, dripping with exquisite crystals. A mirror that covered one of the walls of the room reflected everything. I know another advantage of being a dhampir rather than a vampire: my reflection shows. The long, rectangular table was draped with a lace tablecloth. The meal was served by the family's cook.

            "Ah, you must be Sein," Ceira's father proclaimed.

            "Yes, I am." I nodded and smiled.

            "How delightful that you could join us for dinner," her mother cooed.

            Her grandmother scrutinized me with squinty eyes. She was an old woman with baggy skin, as though she had taken the skin of someone with skin a couple of sizes larger than the skin she had. She wore a simple, lavender dress and a small lace cap upon her white hair, which was pinned at the nape of her neck. She sniffed the air as though she smelled something unpleasant, and she was trying to detect what it was. Wait, that's right…Ceira told me that she could smell out vampires and dhampirs. I wonder what her reaction would be if she knew I was dhampir. I mentally prayed that Ceira's grandfather would fail to sniff me out.

            The dinner was good. There were vegetables, a bit of meat, baskets of bread and butter; for dessert, there was a cake that Ceira's mother had baked. I thought that she was a wonderful cook.

            Before I left to return home, Ceira and I were alone in the darkness of the night in front of the house. I told her I would see her tomorrow and gently kissed her goodnight on the lips. Now, I feel like I'm wishing that I could kiss her some more. Her lips are so soft, I love it! I've been acting happier than usual. I believe it's because of Ceira. She's definitely the light of my dark, lonely life.

            Yoki is calling me lover boy. I just playfully threw a pillow at him out of annoyance.

 

June 27

            This is the last day I'll be with Ceira until July. If only I could see her everyday! I'm falling deeply in love with her.

 

July 25

            Ceira…Oh sweet, oh lovely Ceira. How I hate the days we're not apart. How cruel and torturous they seem, for making us separate for a long time. I wish we could fly in the sky, and leave this life behind and fly away to a place where love is more than just a name. Sigh…

            Oh, how wonderful. Yoki just read all of this over my shoulder. I'm going to go chase him around the castle.

 

August 21

            It's been four months since I first met Ceira. Every time I see her, she seems lovelier than the last time I laid eyes on her. I want to be with her forever!

            Today, I went to visit Ceira and her family at her home. Although she and her parents greeted me warmly, her grandmother was the opposite. She shot me with suspicious glares and couldn't stop sniffing the air, as though she had smelled something suspicious. She whispered something in Ceira's ear, but Ceira didn't take heed. I'm paranoid around Ceira's grandmother.

 

October 31

            I'm at the Midnight Ball for the vampire New Year's Eve. All these dancing ladies can never match up to the beauty of Ceira! If only I could dance with her here. We'd glide upon the marble floor, and her great beauty would surely put all these dancers to shame.

 

January 15, Year of the Dog

            I'm sorry for not writing in here for a while. I've been quite lazy and too caught up with daydreams of Ceira, so I've neglected writing in here. I did not enjoy today.

            Ceira had a sad expression on her face when I saw her today.

            "What's the matter, Ceira?" I asked her. "Why the sad face?"

            She sighed. "My parents told me that I can't be a spinster forever. I have only one more month to choose a husband, or they will choose for me."

            I thought of this. "If that's the case…"

            "What?" Ceira's eyes, the shade of periwinkle, met mine. I wondered how I could ever match up to her innocent beauty.

            I got down on my knees. "Will you marry me?"

            I looked up at Ceira, whose face was brimming with joy. "Do you mean it?"

            "Yes." My voice was sure of it.

            She flung her arms around me. "I will marry you, Sein! I love you!"

            She pressed her soft lips against mine. It was the sweetest touch I've ever had. When she drew back, she smiled sweetly. "Well, now, where's the ring?"

            "The ring?" What was she talking about?

            "The engagement ring, of course!" Ceira giggled.

            I shook my head. "I don't understand. What are you talking about?"

            "When two lovers become engaged, the man must give the woman a ring, silly!" Ceira tightened her embrace around my neck.

            "Is that the human custom?"

            "Of course that's the human-" Ceira stopped short. She gawked at me, her eyes as wide as the full moon. "Why do you refer to it as a human custom? Are you not familiar with it?"

            I couldn't lie to her. My tongue felt heavy, and my answer dropped from between my lips. "No."

            Ceira looked suspicious now. "You're not human, are you?"

            I felt guilty about deceiving her all this time. I looked away from her and let my eyes fall to the floor. "Ceira, I've been meaning to tell you…I'm…I'm half human. I'm a dhampir."

            Ceira gasped. Shock and revulsion flooded into her face. She yanked herself out of my arms, stating, "No wonder my grandmother thought you were strange! You were a dhampir all along! And you never even told me!"

            I didn't know what to say. It was as though Ceira had taken away my tongue.

            "I can't love you anymore, Sein!" she cried. "You're a sick half-breed! I don't believe in relationships between vampires and humans! I don't ever want to see you again!"

            She ran away from me, dashing down the streets as people calmly strolled by her.

            "Ceira!" I cried.

            When she didn't answer, let alone look behind her, I rushed after her.

            "Ceira! Wait!" I desperately pleaded.

           As I went after her, a man abruptly caught my arm. "Don't go chasin' women if they don't want you," he said.

            I wrenched my arm free and continued chasing Ceira. However, it was too late; I lost sight of her.

 

January 16

            I went back to the town today. I tried to look for Ceira. As I wandered among the streets, a brown carriage swiftly rolled past me. I was surprised to see Ceira in there, looking out the window. When she saw me, she quickly turned her head away, pretending not to see me.

            "Ceira!" I shouted to her.

            I chased the carriage. In the middle of my mad goose chase, I was surprised to see the carriage come to an abrupt stop. Ceira's father stepped out of the carriage with an angry expression on his face.

            "Keep away from my daughter!" he snarled.

            "Look," I began, trying to sound calm, "I just want to talk to your daughter."

            Ceira's mother tried pulling her husband back into the carriage. I heard her pleading him not to make such a racket. He barked something at her, though I don't remember what. Then, Ceira poked her head out of the carriage, a haughty expression on her face. Her eyes, simmering with arrogance.

            Before I could say anything, she yelled, "Go away, Sein!"

            "But-"

            "I don't want to see you again! I'm off to see my fiancé, just so you know!"

            I stood there, shocked. Ceira and her family repacked themselves into the carriage and rode off. I stayed where I was standing, watching them roll away until they were gone. That's the last I would ever see of Ceira. She's gone from my life.

 

January 17

            Yesterday, all day long, I couldn't stop crying. Ceira…she was such a truly sweet girl, and I loved her so much. I remember all those beautiful days of us together. I felt so wonderful in the warmth of her arms. I cherished her kisses. But now she left me because of my heritage. And how could she have found someone else so soon? I think it's one of her suitors, which her parents have tried to get her to marry. Does she truly love him? As much as she once loved me? I feel unbelievably betrayed! How could this be? I can't stop crying. I feel as though I'm screaming my heart, soul, and throat out. Maybe I'm sobbing out all of me. I feel so miserable. I hate this feeling. I hate it. I hate it. I HATE IT!!! Who is her new beau, anyway? I bet he's better-looking than I am. He must be rich, powerful…and maybe pompous. And he's pure-bred human. Why must I be born a dhampir? I'm so jealous. I feel like ripping him apart, whoever he is. I don't know if I hate Ceira or not. I still love her, but I hate her for her reaction when I told her that I'm a dhampir. I can't stop crying. I really can't. Some teardrops are falling onto the pages and blurring some of my writing. I wonder how many teardrops it'll take to create an ocean. I wish I could cry so much, that my teardrops would drown the world. I want Ceira and her new stupid fiancé to drown a painful death in my bitter ocean. Maybe, just because I feel like it, I could give Typher their hearts as a present.

            Yoki feels so sad for me. He's been trying to comfort me. He tells me that if Ceira doesn't accept me for who I am, then she just isn't worth it. But I want Ceira to accept me for who I am! Why can't she? Why can't anyone besides Yoki accept me for the way I am???

 

January 18

            Why do I even bother writing in here? It's not as though you'll say anything to me. I have no one but Yoki to comfort me! No one at all! I feel such hatred, and I'm so wretchedly lonely. Earlier, out of anger, I threw my mother's music box and the necklace away. I tossed them out of my window, and watched them awkwardly twirl in the air and fly over the castle walls. Hours later, when I felt the horror of realizing what I had done, I rushed out of the castle and tried to find it. I failed to do so. Someone must've found it and taken it away! If so, I want to murder that person! I hate everyone! I really do! I hate this imbecilic world I live in!!!!

 

April 2, Year of the Tiger

            So many years have passed by. I'm two-hundred-ten years old now. I'm a little taller than six feet. My shoulders are broader, and I've gained more muscle; I'm still pathetically slender, though. My black hair now reaches my shoulders. My marriage to Nulena will be in one and a half year. I am not excited. I wonder what our marriage would be like. Once I'm a pure vampire, I can no longer go out into the sun. I'd only be able to survive on blood. I wouldn't be able to sleep on a bed anymore, only in a coffin. I'll get used to it, even though being a vampire hardly appeals to me.

 

April 17       

            I was at Bormaunt Cemetery today. I felt the mood to draw, so I took my sketchbook with me. There, I was sketching a chapel when one lovely girl came towards me. She seemed seventeen years old. She was dressed in a black silk dress and a black top hat with a veil hanging in front of her appealingly innocent face. Her long black hair flowed in the breeze. She asked me what I was drawing, and I showed her. She was quite appreciative of my art, which pleased me. I don’t show my art to the world very much. She watched me draw, and seemed to be in awe. I was sorry to see her go when her aunt called for her.

 

April 26

            Do you remember that girl who used to visit me in my dreams? It’s been years since she’s visited me. But I saw her again. I only faintly remember her looking at me. She was much older now, a young woman rather than a little girl. I always wonder what her name is.

 

June 3

            Cassus claims he has a new victim from last night. He told me that she's a young woman, who's in the dungeons right now. She's forced to let Cassus feed on her every night. I hate Cassus for doing this! When Cassus goes down to the dungeons tonight, I'm going to follow him, without him knowing.

 

Later

            I just saved Cassus’s victim. Earlier this evening, I followed Cassus to the dungeons when he was going. He didn’t suspect that I was following him. Yoki was sitting on my shoulder as we crept behind Cassus. When he opened the door of one dungeon cell, the sound of a young woman’s shriek reached my ears. I remember Cassus saying something, and I rushed towards his back and pushed him. He yelled out and collapsed to the ground when Yoki cried, "By blood! Sein, look! It's that girl I told you about! The girl who freed me from her house!"

            Several nights ago, Yoki had accidentally flown into a house. He told me that the family living there had tried to kill him, but only one girl saved him and set him free. Apparently, the girl he was talking about was in the dungeon. I stormed into the dungeon and grabbed the maiden by an arm, telling my cousin, "Cassus, I am honored to say that I'll be taking this girl with me. I won't let you drink her blood again."

            I pulled the young woman out of the dungeon and ran through the halls, holding on to her hand. When we reached the dungeon hallway, I could see her face in better light. Her eyes were widened with surprise.

            “You’re…You’re that man I met at the cemetery once.”

            He nodded, smiling a bit. "Yes. I'll never forget it. A young maiden who approached me at the cemetery as I'm drawing the chapel, looking upon my sketch, I'll always remember it."

            She seemed pleased that I didn’t forget her. "You remember me?"

            "Well, why not?" My smile was wider.

            "Well…usually small moments like that are forgotten."

            "But even small moments can be the most treasured." I  tucked a thick strand of hair behind my right ear.

            She nodded. "You have a point there."

            "I suppose I shall have to introduce myself." I bowed his head courteously. "I'm Sein. And you?"

            "Idri." She held out a hand for me to shake. "It's short for Idribelle."

            "A beautiful name," I replied softly, gently shaking her hand.

            "And my name is Yoki," Yoki proclaimed, bowing. "You saved me from that girl and her parents."
            "Oh, my cousin Cyris, and my uncle and aunt."

            Yoki nodded. "Ah, yes. Your beloved family, I presume?"

            "Beloved…not the right word," she told Yoki. "You see, they only took me in because my parents died in a fire when I was young. They were going to marry me off, but I ran away.”

            “Arranged marriage?” I blurted.

            “Yes. I didn’t like it.” Idri glanced at me. “Oh,  that’s right. Everyone in Bormaunt knows that you’re engaged to Duchess Nulena.”

            “She’s my first cousin,” I answered.

            “Oh.”

            I don’t remember the rest of the conversation, but I did lead her upstairs. I gave her a room where she would stay, and invited her to live in this castle, since she ran away from home. Yoki and I bade her goodnight, and we left Idri in her new bedchamber. I believe Idri and I will become great friends.

 

June 5

            Forgive me for being so lazy when it comes to writing lately. I don’t write in here as much as I used to.

            Idri is such an interesting person. She wears a necklace that appears identical to the pendant to that music box I threw away years ago. I regret throwing it away. I wish I still had it.

            This morning, we had breakfast with each other. She asked a lot about living in the castle and about vampires and dhampirs. She was surprised to learn that I’m two-hundred-ten years old. She was only seventeen, just as I thought.

            She and I just had dinner with my family. She was introduced to Uncle, Aunt, Cassus, and Nulena. I’m not sure of my family’s thoughts of her. Uncle and Aun