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Forbidden Love chap. 2

 

This is impossible… Vampires don’t exist, they are just myths. There’s no such thing as Vampire. … it can’t be true…Vampires DON’T exist! …But then, what … is this thing in front of me…

 

 

 

“RUN! ICHI! RUN AWAY! I won’t be able to stop myself from hurting you if you stay here! Just RUN!” The creature shouted.

 

 

Ichi came back to reality after she heard Ryuu and headed for the door. She looked at the creature on last time before she ran out of the room and down the stairs. The house was big. There are no other colors in house other than black and red. Where is the door? Why isn’t there a window in this house? Ichi was desperate to get out of house, to get away from the monster, to get away from all the craziness. 

 

 

     Finally, she heard a dog bark, she followed the sound to the living room, then a hall, and there was light… the door. Ichi ran to it like she just found a house full of gold, and she opened the door.

 

 

 

     It was still dark outside. The dog stopped barking. Everything was quiet, and back to normal. But Ichi kept running. She ran out of Ryuu’s yard to the street. There were no cars, no people. Nothing. Which made a shiver run down Ichi’s back. She hated silence and she still does. It makes her think that she’s the only person in the world, alone, with no one else. The thought made her speed up, she’s getting farther and farther from the Takashi Estate.

 

 

 

     … That Vampire was …Ryuu …he said my name. But how? How can a Vampire exist? They are not real. But I saw it with my own eyes. Still, Vampires are disgusting and cruel, Ryuu is not like that, he’s nice, he saved me. Maybe Vampires can be nice too… ughh!! What am I thinking?! Vampires are bloodthirsty monsters, they drink human’s blood! Ryuu is … what is he? I don’t understand, I can’t think any more. Is this just all a dream? Is it …?

 

 

     Ichi suddenly stopped running, realizing that she doesn’t know where she is. She was running with out looking, now she’s in front what looks like a school. It’s four stories tall, built by black bricks, and surrounded by dark red flowers.

 

 

     There’s a light at every window, but it’s still very dark. What an odd looking school. Oh, man, this is bad! I’m in the middle of nowhere. I should go in the school to ask for directions. I hope there are still people in there. Ichi walks toward the door of the school and tried to open it but it wouldn’t budge. So she starts to knock on the door,

 

 

     “ Hello? Hello? Is anyone in there? Can you open the door for me please?” The door opened, but there was no one on other side. Ichi walked into the hallway. It’s very dark, she could barely see, but she somehow managed to walk with out bumping into anything. There. That’s probably the principle’s office. She thought as she saw the door at the end of the hallway. Before she could react, a hand grabbed her throat from behind.

    

 

 

     “ Don’t try to talk, princess. Just listen …”

 

 


Do Vampires exist... that is a tough question...

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Tags: vampiremichellegoth Forbiddden love  Added 2008-02-23 16:44:12
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I find it disconcerting when Ichi accept vampire's existance with little resistance. People usually deny anything that is irrelevant with their logic. This will mar your character's development if you don't do something about it. Suggestion: Make Ichi more real. I'd suggest that you reveal something about Ichi's encounter with vampire in her past?!

2008-04-24 16:39:03


oh its so good.i must keep reading.

2008-03-13 15:42:04


love it ^_^

2008-03-11 19:22:54


OK in this one...You say "Ichi snapped out of her thoughts..." it sounds odd, maybe try something else, another way to put it. Also down a few more lines it says "in house other than black red." I think you ment black AND red. I love the line about "House full of gold." Great image. In the next paragraph, I suggest rewording the lines "Which made Ichi more scared. She's still running. Farter and farther away from the Takashi Estate." Either take that out or reword it. It sounds REALLY elementary, like you're 10. Ok and I also suggest rewording "since i dont know where i am right now, so i'll just go in the school and ask someone for directions." For someone whoes lost and scared, she sounds really calm and cheery. Last in the last line, you spelt princess wrong. You made it plurl.

2008-02-27 06:36:41


HURRY AND FINNISH PLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-25 14:13:05


You're a great writer! I can't wait to see what happens next! Run, Ichi, run!

2008-02-24 21:33:27


OH SNAP!!WHO IS BEHIND HER???TELL MEEEE!!!PLEASE(PUPPY DOG EYES)!!!

2008-02-24 09:21:10


aaaaaaaaaahhh! i will heve nightmares now :( lol looking forward to the next installment:D

2008-02-24 06:21:16


noOoOoOoOoOOOOOOOOO FINISH THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!1

2008-02-23 21:07:41


Oh, I like, good job. Can't wait for the next chapter.

2008-02-23 20:26:39


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