Spring Has Come
Spring Has Come
Spring has come,
peeking around the corner,
when Winter has packed his bags,
and is dilly-dallying in the opposite direction
of birds that are heading toward warmth,
leaving only half-melted snow and squelching mud.
Spring has come,
taking light, but sure, steps,
when a curtain of rain (the kind that people don’t mind getting wet in)
glides by in the most stately fashion,
pulling new life along by the hand,
leaving in its wake liquid sunlight and little baby flower buds.
Spring has come,
with a small, blissful smile,
when the scent of rebirth lingers in the air,
cool and damp and fresh,
happily supporting all your weight and worries,
so that the reawakening of Earth can be properly rejoiced.
Spring has come,
leaping, bounding, sashaying, twirling,
when a puff of wind has flown this way,
and touched the trees and the grass and your hair
as it runs like a smiling child,
joyful and eager to play.
and then Spring has gone,
silently floating away,
when Summer cannonballs in with a gigantic splash,
spraying the spring green with the summer rainbow
that is found on the Earth, in the Sky,
and all the places in between.
So....um... this is a poem I wrote back in the beginning of March. I'm a little nervous about putting this up, mostly because I'm not sure about the quality of it (you have to admit, the no-capital-letters-except-for-the-special-words technique is a little weird, especially when I'm using it...). As always, I'm open for comments, criticism, suggestions, questions, complaints, insults....whatever you want to throw at me. *bows* Thanks for reading. :) EDIT: I made rebirth lower case. :) Thanks Sukuido!
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nyaha^^ made me remember the character Ghaila of the Wolf Clan from the Battle Realms game niao^^ nice nice^^ nah i don think this style is weird niao^^
BLUESORROW
2008-06-15 18:15:19
I like this poem. It really flowed well for me. I did not have to go back and re-read any part. My favorite line is: when the scent of rebirth lingers in the air, The imagery is great. I like the fact that the spring is characterized as light, airy and playful. I will give this a 10/10. But then I like strange, wonderful poems.
MACK
2008-04-24 19:40:07
i didn't have a problem with the capitalization method you used, but it's the style i employ, so... i really like your imagery. it really puts me out in the spring sun. as for the last stanza, it does kind of spring up on the reader, but it works well, considering that that precise action is what you accuse summer of with "Summer cannonballs in." it just makes sense. i have no suggestions. the flow is smooth. the imagery is clear. the style is consistent. i like it.
ELIANAMORAN
2008-04-16 09:53:21
Wait--no----about the previous suggestion---I thought about it and I don't think it works too well. It kinda clashes with the last stanza. Big time. SO uh...NEVER MIND. *hastily bows while backing away towards the door at the same time*
9261993
2008-04-06 16:41:49
I liked it.....*nods* The new style works quite well. About the ending....its is just jumping the train just a llliiitttlllleee too early, but you don't have to....ur....write out all the other seasons to tie the loose end. Maybe you could end it with something like: "and Summer has come" or something along the lines of that idea. Just a suggestion. *pop*
9261993
2008-04-06 16:39:40
Woooops! Sorry that was meant to be a "cute little". There was nothing suggesting this to be curt, I guess I should had taken of my typingmittens before commenting! :D
ZEDR
2008-04-03 12:13:47
A curt little praise to the two seasons I like the best :)
ZEDR
2008-04-03 12:11:36
I like this style, Fish! Some of the capitalization threw me off at first, (especially Rebirth; I wondered whether it was a brand name for a moment XD) but it worked pretty well. The ending seemed to be a bit abrupt, though. I would be cool if you went through all four seasons! (Write, Fish, write!) But all in all, I like it. *pop* (By the way, it seems that you posted the same poem four times...erm...)
CALAMARI
2008-04-02 20:04:06