Age of Deception (poem)
Age of Deception
This is the age of deception.
The age of lies
and two-faced truths.
Hidden behind a gorgeous smile
and layers of flawless makeup,
is someone much more
than who you really think you are.
It’s stupid of you to
stubbornly wear that mask day after day,
because your true face is a million times
more beautiful.
This is the age of deception.
The age of lies
and two-faced truths.
Do you really think that
wearing the same clothes
and caring about the same things
Will really do you any good?
Do you really think that
the opinions of other people
Are better than your own?
Do you really know
what is truly important?
Do you really know
who you truly are?
This is the age of deception.
The age of lies
and two-faced truths.
Don’t drown in this
vast ocean of facades,
Don’t try to play this
never-ending game.
Get up.
Stand up.
Grow up.
Hurry up,
and get on with your life.
You’re late.
Well...um...this a poem that I wrote. (naaw, Fish, your dog wrote it for you. =__=;;) I'm actually quite proud of this one, actually. ^__^ Well, I say that now, but a year from now, I'm going to have to try very hard to rip it to shreds. Probably. Hopefully. (Hopefully? What in the world are you talking about, Fish?) Anyway, any comments, critisizm, suggestions, etc. are always welcome and encouraged. :)
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niao^^ everthing's nice until i read da last part niao O____O it's never too late to do wat is ryt, ryt? O___O altho if ur going for a hit and run message, well it works niao^^
BLUESORROW
2008-06-15 19:15:31
Talented dog or no, I veddy much like this poem! Horray for individuality! ^_^
50YENCOIN
2008-04-14 18:43:02
EDIT: Thank you Squid! I extended it (it's the bubbly font in the middle there) and tried to make the spacing less choppy...? (And yes, my dog is indeed very talented. XD)
MXSKAI
2008-04-13 20:20:37
Well, if it's criticism you want, it's criticism you're gonna get. I liked the message of the poem, but the spacing was kind of distracting. It wasn't so bad in the last half of the poem (the part with the pointy font), but in the first half, I think it would be better if you didn't break thoughts in half. (See paragraphs 2-3 and 4-5). Also, the lines "than who you really think/you are" seemed like kind of strange phrasing to me... I know what you're trying to say, but it might work better to say it in one line and/or reword. I would have liked the poem to have been longer as well. It seemed like it was missing a couple of stanzas... I really, really liked the last three paragraphs, for the record. :D Long story short: Nice idea, but I'd like it longer and with less spaces. (By the way, your dog is very talented.)
CALAMARI
2008-04-13 17:14:47