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Death
Death has come up to my mind alot lately....I mean im not the type of guy who talks lik this even though i feel it but im tired of fakeing for ppl who dnt care about me and im tired of being the one who gives 100% 2 ppl and they dnt do nething to change my lost heart,soul,and mind they jst lie to me saying they care and they dont and all i feel is sorrow and hate towards every happy person and every person who dsnt no how i feel. I feel lik noone cares if i live or die...should i really die? or should i ve to show those who dnt care tat i really matter?either way no1 cares for me im all alone and always the guy faking my smiles faking my emotions jst to keep those around me from leaving me...but they dnt understand i desperately hold my hand out for their help i even hint it but no1 takes to my aid bcz they dnt care they only care about their own life and complain wen i dnt show pain or pety for them.I have my own lif and pain y should i die and those bastards live making others feel same as me i was always an outcast and i jst adjusted myself to fit and i had so much sorrow tat the only way i could get rid of the pain for a bit was sex and i luved it and its entirety and now im tired of it bcz its jst a cheap thrill....will no1 save me and come hold me and tell me that they want me to be theres and tat they will always be there for me....death has been on my mind alot should it be i wonder....
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don't say that! Don't say that i want to die! 'cause if you haven't succeeded to know the reason why you exist... you are a somebody! not a nobody! People are like you, even myself... thoughts of eternal sleep... is that really enough? is it enough, tell me that we aren't friend? are you telling me that? People exist to support you to live... you saved me, didn't you know that? i just know you so little, but i want to know more... i can't just lie and say, i can save you from this despair... the truth is i want to save you. I use to be tired, tired of life... even today, i get tired, but that's what you call life... "Life?" i never really completed it, but i'm still walking... i'm still trying to complete the loss of time... let me help you live with a small smack of will.
to die is to not be complete... you aren't complete yet! no... no... i see how we really relate... death is no answer to one's self... i once thought of that before... until i was saved by many people... that includes you... now i want to save you... you didn't have to do much to save me... now i know of you... you exist in this world for a reason... there is a reason to exist, otherwise you wouldn't exist now... even i wouldn't know of your existence... understand that... tired? i think everyone gets tired of this world, even i have thought of eternal sleep... don't fake your smile... don't tell your friends lies... tell them what you feel... if you were to die now, i'd be crying, even if i knew so little... i want to know you even more, now that i see that you need hope... now i know why you feel like you want to be where someone is... or at least a someone... you aren't a nobody... you are a somebody... don't die because your family acts as if they don't love you... when you die, they'll regret everything they did, it would be their mistake... you aren't the mistake! neither are they... find out the real reason that you live... don't escape it till it is found, till the very day you die is the end of your youth. gosh... i sort of sound like an old geezer...
hey thats not fair i care bout u a lot. But every 1 dies. when i found out when i was a kid. i was so scared. Just no in that humans r insignificant nd that it doesn't matter if u die 2day or in 20 yrs but ur still goin 2 die. I wonder how we can carry on with our lives knowin 1 day we r goin 2 die. But then thats life as we no it.
i understand tat from both of u but its not to escape the pain but to jst give in into it bcz i dnt care if they care and i no if i choose death they would jst care as much of me as much they had b4 i want to not escape tats a fools way of thinkin but death is mostly my only friend in this cruel world iv givn up on myself and cant stand to feel numb wen i wak tell i sleep tats y i question my excestence and my life is it really gd for me to live no1 cares either way....
Death is an escape, not an answer. You wouldn't be teaching any one a lesson, because if they care as little as you say, then they will adjust to your death just like they would adjust to any other change in their life. They would learn to look sad when your name was mentioned. Death only hurts you.
no don't think of death as a salvation! i know what you mean always having to fake smiles and happines...it's as if they just don't care...it hurts so bad that you try even harder to have people hear that little vioce inside you that is trying to get out and be heard...but seems as if no one cares to listen to it or they can't...or won't they seem to pity you or something...i know that feeling...i've thought of death but i realized the only way to be heard is to live...if only for yourself...
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if u die, then who am i gona call oreo? whos gona talk to me about thse dudes an dat girl? lol i mean i think dat sumtimes, but i know ders some1 out there for me. just gotta find them
DEVILLADYBLACK
04.12.2008 09:34 AM