Harold Melman wanted nothing more than to break a long-standing family curse and successfully serve his country in the armed forces. Unfortunately, his clumsiness and lack of wit prevent any branch from taking him. After getting kicked out of Harry's Boot Camp & Nail Salon (in spite of his lovely cuticles!), Melman gathers a mismatched band of wannabe heroes to fight the good fight—for those who are too dumb to fight it themselves. Along with the speedy Maniac, brainy Nitwit, sensitive Blowfish and unlucky Janey Jinx, Melman goes forth as Capt. Pinhead to battle a yard full of gophers—that turn out to be giant mole monsters intent on bringing about the downfall of the human race!

Capt. Pinhead
Well-intentioned but dumb, Harold Melman earned his unfortunate nickname through his unsuccessful adventures at Harry's Boot Camp & Nail Salon. Now he's formed his own group of misfits to attempt to right wrongs and triumph over evil—if they can manage to walk three steps without falling down a manhole first.
 
Blowfish
Allergic to everything under the sun and afraid of whatever he isn't actually allergic to. Works hard to overcome his anxieties and help out his friends, though. Has the remarkable ability to inflate himself like a balloon.
 
Janey
Born under a bad sign, Janey has the worst luck of any living creature. Anything that can go wrong does go wrong when Janey's around. You've heard of Murphy's Law? Well, Janey's Law is even worse. Anvils and hanging pianos make beelines for her, and sinkholes open beneath her feet as she strolls along.
 
Maniac
This 10th grader is a wild and crazy kid. He's not afraid of anything or anybody, and he constantly leaps before he looks. Trouble is his middle name. It should also be his first and last.
 
Nitwit
Master of the malapropism and the Rube Goldberg contraption, Nitwit is the comics fan of the Idiotz. His attempts to imitate his favorite heroes tend to end up with him face-first in mud puddles after failing to fly, in spite of the spiffy cape and tights.
 
Scruffy Mutt
Pinhead's faithful if somewhat unpredictable pooch. He's a coward until circumstances require, and then he has the power to transform into a canine dynamo!
 
The Mole Monsters
Hideous, moldy, subhuman beasts covered with filth. They live below the surface of the Earth, so they are pale and pasty beneath the caked mud that covers them from their enormous deformed heads to their lethal clawed toes. The mole monsters are not accustomed to bright light, so they have been known to steal sunglasses from Jack Nicholson and hats with visors from the local 7-Eleven.
 

Gary Greenfield:
Gary Greenfield was born in the beautiful, mystical land known as Brooklyn, New York. He writes for books, magazines, newspapers, television and radio, as well as for tabloids. His story "Ventriloquist Dummy Starts Riot in Subway" is still causing ripples in literary circles.
 
Gary has written for such animated series as X-Men, Batman, Mega Man, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Goof Troop and Donkey Kong. Of all the short stories he's written, his favorite is "The Rock," which appears in the book Even More Bone-Chilling Tales of Fright. It takes place in Hawaii, where Gary frequently vacations with his lovely wife, Emely, and their daughter, Nicole, who is quite an artist. Manga is Gary's current passion, and he is happy to be surrounded by a bunch of stupid Idiotz.

He can lift a car off an arthritic buffalo with one hand while eating a peanut butter and salami sandwich with the other. He can drive his fist through a solid oak door and not even break a fingernail, although he may require a touch-up manicure at Harry's Boot Camp and Nail Salon. He can run for miles without thinking about it—or anything else, which is why he's frequently hit by smoke-belching busses, old ladies with purple hair in wheelchairs and terrified pigeons who are too slow to flap out of his way.
 
We're not talking about the Man of Steel.
We're not talking about the Caped Crusader.
We're not even talking about that heroic rodent, Mighty Mouse.
We're talking about Harold Melman, who has earned the sadly apt nickname Capt. Pinhead.
 
This series is so much fun. I signed on for Idiotz because I really wanted to do something lighthearted, clever and kid-friendly. And lo and behold...this tale of Harold Melman and his cohort of five oddball friends came into being. Gary wrote us a hilarious script that's absolutely pun-derful, and John & Jason Waltrip came up with terrific designs for all the various characters, and did a bang-up job of bringing Gary's vision to light! Follow the adventures of Capt. Pinhead, Maniac, Janey Jinx, Blowfish, Scruffy Mutt and Nitwit as they attempt to right wrongs, triumph over evil and save the world from stupidity. They'll be lucky if they can even manage to save themselves, though...
 
~Lillian Diaz-Przybyl, Editor