as the knife slices through my flesh, as it rips my vein open, i realize, maybe for the first time ever, that life, is so hard to live, yet so easy to end. the blood pours out with force, as if it had been struggling with my skin to escape my body..... suddenly, i feel scared. darkness is creeping up from all sides. the darkness engulfs me. i'm trapped with no way out. i start to panic, as the darkness begins to wrap itself around me, and quickly pulls out my soul, leaving none of it behind.... i writhe in agony as slowly, slowly, my heart stops beating; as the air escapes my lungs... and yet... i don't die. i don't have the luxury of dying. i am forced to continue living, in the hell i was condemned to. as i fall into unconsiousness, i see shadows that become blurs, i hear whispers that say nothing.... as i awaken, i feel a blinding pain... i see white everywhere, and it hurts so much.... i see, all those that i once loved and cared for, pass by. they seem happy.... i scream out to them, but they can't hear me. i wave at them frantically, yet they can't see me. i run after them... the faster i run, the farther away they get. finally, i'm able to reach out to them, to touch them, and.... they disappear... i'm left standing there confused, and alone.......

to be continued.....