Until the day I die, I swear to God almighty, she'll be my rival. I'll never be free of that wretched woman who will spend every hour of every day haunting my life and trying to take him from me. I'll never have a moments peace of mind because the minute that I start to gain just that, it's ripped from me and I don't know what to do anymore.

I finally won him, through no real attempts of my own. He IMed me on Yahoo one day and we continued to talk and talk, and then he called me and things just continued. I decided to come up to where he was stationed and visit for the weekend. It was exactly what I wanted. He wanted to become official, I was overjoyed. He was done with her, wanted nothing else to do with her. Yet she still calls, still wants to talk to him, tried to get back together with him if he didn't do anything with me.

She asked tonight if he was going back to visit his hometown in December for Christmas, he said he didn't know. But if he goes back, I am certain he will go back to her. If he sees her even once, he'll go back. I don't know what I'll do then. So I am steeling my heart, hardening it tight against the pain that is sure to come. I know that if I am a fool and do not do this, I will feel the sting of rejection a second time and I am not so certain I will be okay with it. My one great love. I'm going to lose him again to her, I'll never be free of her.

I can only ask God now for guidance, and pray nightly that all will go well from this. Please, Lord, have some mercy...

God, I sound so melodramatic...
I'm never watching 300 again...