theos22
Last Login:
09.11.08 03:05AM
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theos22
Last Login:09.11.08 03:05AM
Real Name: Nothing is my name
Member Since: July 13, 2007
School: you don't wanna know
Occupation: Student
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My family has hated me for the last 6 years. They dont like me bc of wat happened w me and my mom 6 years ago. And its because of them I look at all the negative things in life. Actually its only 1 person I care about now. Everyone else has walked away from me in my times of need. Thats the other reason why I see so much negative. I always doubt myself and Im always so hard and down on myself. Ppl seem to always know how to make me worse than what I already am w what they say to me. Ive already lost everything I could have ever wanted. Its bc of my family that Ive tried the things I have. I want so badly to learn how to be different and better than what I am. I want to be more optimistic about things than what I am. But its not easy w the stress thats building up right now. I need to learn to relax and talk more often then what I do now. I feel so worthless.
yes, i know they're bad thats why ive stopped using them. plus theres ppl i care about that i dont want to hurt and as long as i do those things thats wat will happen. im depressed bc of my family. they've made me feel really horrible for the last month now. remember how i told u i dont have parents? well i dont have family nemore either.
im slowly working on that stuff. but it gets worse w the depression. but i can say this, ive stopped the cuttin nd burnin. ive also stopped using hardcore drugs so that makes me feel a lil better about myself
i wish i was prettier. being anorexic makes me look blah. idk low selfesteem nd low confidence plays a part in why i feel that way about myself. yes, i would love to see a current picture of u.
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JAPAN
Nd you're right about that. Im still working on not being so negative. Thank you for the encouragement, I appreciate it. Even though I have that person thats there for me I cant talk to them about these things. I dont like him knowing about my feelings or my thoughts bc they seem to make him sad when I tell him so Im always pretending everythings fine in front of him. You're the first person Ive talked to about these things n about 8-9 months. Nd it feels good to talk about them nd let things out instead of bottling them up so again Thank You. Oh, nd its fine about the late response. I understand how school can be.
BLOODLESSLIFE
11.02.2009 02:34 PM